All the Worrying...

It is hard starting over. It is hard beginning again. It is like you stopped breathing and you forgot how to breathe, so now you are learning how to breathe all over again. Then you realize you were never taught to breathe, you have just always been breathing...

I am trying breathe. I self published my first novel a month and two weeks ago. I have sold 70 books, some royalty based and some on my own. But for some reason I feel the need to try to teach myself how to breathe through all this. I am guess I am impatient. I just thought differently.

And all of the connects that I had none of them are really falling through. All I have right are words from people. People I thought to be trustworthy and loyal and actions over words. But clearly that is not true.

I spoke to an old friend and they asked me...what are you going to do once you have exhausted all of your friends and family. What then?

Then I asked myself what if all those people say no, and everyone says no? What am I going to do? How do I not give up?

I am looking up people like Zane and Fiona Zedde to see their journey from self publishing to becoming a known author. But there is my problem......IT IS THEIR JOURNEY.

I am trying to breathe....if I could just teach myself how to breathe.....if I could just remember how to breathe...I could do this...

It is sad say that I don't think I have finished any of the goals I have set for myself. I have started them and not finished them. I don't want this to be another goal I set and not finished.

With all the worrying I keep trying to teach myself how to breathe....